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Until we meet again”Let me create a world for you”, she said to the love of her life.
“A world?” he wondered with curiosity in his eyes.
“I’ll make it just for you and follow your every request”, she told him with a smile. Smiling back, he took her hands in his and their fingers intertwined.
“Then, I want the sky to be as blue as your eyes and the stars to gleam just like them. I want the sun to be as golden as your hair and as bright as smile. I want the air to be filled with the beautiful sound of your voice and to be as warm and comforting as your embrace. I want dawn and twilight to be as rosy as your cheeks when you blush. I want the flowers to smell of your sweet scent and the grass to be as soft as your lips. At last I want the ticking of the time to be like the pounding of your heart that I hear when I put my ear to your chest.”
She told him to close his eyes and imagine it all, his wonderful world.
“Do you see it?” she asked
UnconnectedWhen did autumn become so short? I’ve always adored the bright colour of the leaves and the crisp winds that played with them. All of a sudden these beloved scenarios are passing by, leaving me behind before I'm able to cherish them. I reach out for them but no matter how much I fumble they’re already gone with the days I’ll never get back.
I used to lie awake the night before my birthday in October, impatiently waiting with excitement until I fell asleep so that morning could come. These days I lie awake at night thinking about death. I’m terrified of heaven. Yes, heaven scares me more than anything. Since I was little I’ve always believed in God and that I will come to him after I’ve died. The difference now is that I’m not sure if I want it to happen. Dying doesn’t scare me but the thought of being in a place with eternal happiness frightens me. I just can’t seem to imagine staying in such a place FOREVER with no end to it. It do
Diary bound by nonsenseI mixed my feelings in a blender and swallowed them down again.
I released them in a thundercloud just above my head.
The growth I got from disbelief was shaved off quickly without doubt.
My tears were sold for a price that sadness made up to count.
I purged up the nausea that nervousness came out to be.
Could I see the bottom whole of anxiety fill up with lies and ease?
Knotted were my memories being drawn back in forgotten.
My dreams as traumas were once smashed under the palm of my hand.
Spilling like oil on hot surface my regrets spat up at me.
I burned with hurt and ignorance for being so naive.
Buried shall my secrets be above my future hopes.
A glass ball of insanity were rolled and painted with blood.
Boldness is only ignorance I watched over in the bottom of a well.
Fished it up with a hook of bitterness as the coward I then was.
Never fear the network of trust that was blown away with gruesome dust.
I rather stay locked up and write names for curiosity on keys of childishness
Skin and bonesWhen I saw you in your bikini I was concerned; you were a skelleton with skin on.
It made me happy with relief when I saw you eating that high calorie ice cream.
How was I suppose to know it was the first thing you ate that day,
after swimming several length in the outside pool.
How was I suppose to know you made yourself puke after that,
when you said you were going to the bathroom?
And later you bikes several miles home on empty stomach.
You came home to an empty house and binged on everything you could find.
You looked yourself in the mirror and all you saw was fat.
So you threw all the food up though your sight was a complete lie.
Then you ran outside to burn those calories though there were none left.
You ran so fast and long and never came back home.
It was just outside my house you fell when your heart stopped.
Do you speak anime?Senpai told me a little, a lot, how to catch this world in a single shot.
But I try and I fail to read the words of your lips. All too tight, they were to strict.
Mahou, I can spell it with my fingertip, it isn't hard but it's easy to slip.
Your expression is so impossibly obvious, you hang those stripy, pink blushes onto us.
I see the dream, hai watashi. Never always awkward between you and me.
Everytime a new episode, all the wonders went lost. Not very certainly on our own cost.
Somehow the music matched our feelings that day, my apology isn't to be delayed.
Gomen, I mean let's do this one more time. Your heart is to be opened and forever mine.
Translations are too much useless, for fans and everyone it's making a mess.
If you can't love soon this comedy I say, you'll be down on your knees for dignity okay?
Kawaiiso. But you know that's the pretty deal, of cooking up a japanese bento meal.
Arigato, the sweets never made us fat, my legs are thin and my stomach is flat.
But it's nothi
Trapped inside my headThe latest days I've been convinced something is living in my stomach.
Eating the food I take in, leaving me weak and empty.
It was terrifying when I thought it would burst out all of a sudden.
I saw the skinny black man crying on a chair when I was talking to the doctor.
The doctor sat down in the same chair.
When the black man was gone I almost started crying too.
Something had been attached around my head and I was terrified it'd crush my skull.
I was looking for dad when the people outside distracted me and I went down the hall.
Looking at them through the glass made me feel unreal.
Then I discovered the small creatures with sharp teeth and crystal eyes.
They were playing in the snow at it looked like they smiled at me.
The doctor came up to me and talked about my new meds.
I barely listened because I was looking at the dirt on the floor.
Later I saw the boy who had raven oily skin just like the man I saw earlier.
It hit me that it could be his son and they were looking for each ot
R.I.PWhen you are hospitalized at the psychiaric department it usually means you're quite unstable when it comes to your mental health.
Some people ask me if there really is voices in my head or if it's just strong thoughts that makes me feel so anxious and paranoid.
I say to them I can't tell the difference and I don't know what they want me to say because I'm just telling the truth.
What I know is that they can make me behave completely different than what most people who knows me would consider normal.
Thoughts or voices either way they scare me a lot and sometimes they tell me to do thing that can be sort of out of control.
They moch me and push me until I can't hold back and fall over the invisible edge of what's sensible in my mind.
So it's not very weird that they for some reason decided me to do one morning after breakfast before I went of permission.
I was extremly nervous to be perfectly honest and I didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment so I put the voices plan into action.
Pretty birdDid you ever have a walk outside downtown, look up at the sky.
Was there snowflakes?
Did you ever wonder if they felt as lonely as you did around all those humans.
You seek freedom and I might just give you the key.
Did you think it was impossible?
No, I'll open your eyes, it's not really out there but it's inside you.
I told you the biggest truth your heart knew.
Give me your hand and I shall guide the way.
I whispered the small kind secrets you already knew.
The wings started to grew as your mind was released.
I smiled at you and laughed because you're a dear friend to me.
There was joy in your eyes when you understood I was linked with you.
The sky is mixed in many different colors.
Spread you arms and take off with me.
The voices surrounded us and you felt lighter.
This moment won't be ruined for you, I can't let that happen.
The fires we set for the world to see.
I called to you; You're finally free.
I hear you. I see the long pipe in your bony hand. You look like a skeleton with sickly green shadows all over your body. Every time you bare feet hit the floor with impossibly heavy footsteps for such a little girl I feel the ground shaking. It shakes so that I can feel the bones in my fingertips breaking slowly with a crusty sound.
"I know you're here Liza, I can see your guts squirming in the back of my head. I can feel the surface of your iron eyes burning like in hell. Your insides scream for me Liza. The want me to cut them open."
I hold back the urge to purge. I have this horrible feeling I could actually slide my fingers down my icy throat and tickle the cold flesh with my dirty nails just to puke it all up. Get rid of it, the heart, the lungs and the stomach. Every single thing that you crave so badly. I can feel the slime beneath the touch of my fingers; somehow my body has already reacted on what I thought. I cough loudly and my head aches. My brain can't take the p
Mental Disorder Discrimination"You said you've got depression?
No you don't, you attention seeker.
You're just an average teenager with the perfect life
Desperately looking for sympathy."
Stop crying, you coward.
You're just a childish "scaredy-cat".
Blaming your problems on a mental disorder
That doesn't even exist."
"So you're schizophrenic?
Grow the hell up, and stop acting like a child
You're too old for imaginary friends
You callow, juvenile, little twit."
But if we're attention seekers,
Why do we try so hard to hide our feelings from the world?
Why do we isolate ourselves in our rooms,
Desperately hiding the cuts on our wrists
Trying our best to live a normal life?
And if we're simply "scaredy-cats",
Why is our fear so vividly intense?
Unlike simple fear, our anxiety will stick with us forever
A severe long-lasting feeling of powerful panic.
A feeling from which we'll never be free.
Suddenly we're childish for having a mental disorder?
Schizophrenia is not something we can control.
YouIf you’re a girl, you’re a girl.
If you’re a boy, you’re a boy.
If you’re white, you’re white.
If you’re black, you’re black.
If you’re gay, you’re gay.
If you’re bi, you’re bi.
If you’re straight, you’re straight.
If you’re religious, you’re religious.
If you’re an atheist, you’re an atheist.
If you’re mentally disabled, you’re still human.
If you’re physically disabled, you’re still human.
For everything you are:
So who are they to judge you for who you are?
to me you are perfect
I do not know the reasons
for all those scars burning
against your bright skin
you've been soaking
a pain reminiscing from past
we both cannot recollect
yet you are so beautiful..
when night gets darker
and I am the one...
who's hungered to undress
the spirit of you
slowly revealing the layers
coming off from shadows
disguised in desires
craving to be fulfilled
I will caress every corner
of your silhouette
until I figure the true shape
of your heart
I will rub those blisters
softly until every nerve
of you gushes into a river
and you moan into a life
I had promised you
years ago when we began
to breathe into each other
for all the truths
I must swallow
and lessons I must learn
you are the one
I am destined to discover
what it means
to love in perfection
daydreams and monsters.she was a girl.
she ran with the moon,
chased fireflies in the bluegrass, and
watched the reflection of sunsets in rain puddles.
her name was Alice,
and she was a girl.
but to the dragonflies she was a queen,
and to the mirror she was a sister.
the moon was her prince, and the
blinking windows were the eyes
that kept her safe.
she spent her nights making wishes, and she
dragged her fingers along the shooting stars
that were tangled with her vertebrae.
her name was Alice,
and she was a girl.
her body was a river
her mind was an ocean
and her heart was the sky.
she lived in a world where
doves flew in the sea and
whales swam in the
i can't keep walking on these dry-rot bonesoh, i am not a poet;
like the ink scratches
of plath, i am
specter boy: decay,
dispose, & disappoint
because this is the way
that writers wane -
(this hangman head is no
survivor story, & gods
do not burn out
poem for borderlinesif i could concentrate over
seven hundred thousand eyes
at the roof to the numbers stepping
from the nicities & rows
to go back
to the shattered surface
& the ripples beating over the hang
halfway between shallow
biting lips. maybe--
she couldn't have known
that it takes a whole three minutes
for the lungs to
well, maybe she
who, oh well
the white; the haze--
the booming over
the spume and spray
me get out of my head
just pull up the shutters
my tongue the weight to talk
but that's all we'll ever be:
a match burning itself out for
under the backspray of someone else's wheels
Hath No FearGiving yourself completely up to fear is kinda like falling in love: You can't pin point exactly when it started and by the time you realize that you are surrounded by that sensation it's already game over. Just like the image of the person you are in love with starts creeping out from every unexpected corner, fear never leaves your side when you give it a welcome stay. After a restless sleep, it starts beating anxiously in your heart the moment you wake up in the morning and commands all your thoughts and actions throughout the day. It is nothing short of a prison, except you are the only inmate and the warden never takes a break. Ever.
I do not exactly remember when I let fear occupy my being but I remember the exact moment when I realized I was ruled by it. It was late in the afternoon, everybody was out there 'getting busy living' and I had locked myself inside my bed half awake, not particularly finding any valid reason to get out of it. Then I was awakened from a nightmare by my
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More